Couples Tips for Better Communication & Intimacy

It wasn’t the betrayal of cheating. It wasn’t the storm of a screaming match.

It was the slow drift; two hearts growing miles apart while sleeping side by side.

That’s how more relationships are dying. But it doesn’t have to be that way.

You can bring back the warmth of her smile when she looks at you. The spark that made her reach for your hand without even thinking.

Below, you’ll find 9 couples tips to help you talk better, feel closer, and build more emotional safety, trust and lasting intimacy.

Even strong partnerships need care and attention to thrive.

Whether it’s been six months or sixteen years, these simple tips can help you feel seen, wanted, and deeply connected again. 

You’ll also hear from a few men in our Marriage Reset Program. They used some of these effective strategies to turn their troubled marriages around—even when it felt like everything was already lost.

Let’s jump in.

10 Couples Tips For Better Communication & Intimacy

1. Check In With Each Other Daily

A few nights ago, my wife was wrecked. It was either a stomach bug or food poisoning.

We’re guessing food poisoning, since neither the boys nor I got it. (Knock on wood. Twice.)

She was violently sick. The sounds coming from the bathroom were straight out of a zombie apocalypse. It was miserable, and I felt bad for her.

I made sure she had everything she needed, reminded the kids to give her space, and let her rest.

I go to bed early since I’m up before the sun, so I crashed in the boys’ room—again. Pretty standard these days.

When I got up early the next morning, I paused outside our bedroom and listened. No movement. No sound.

I figured she was sleeping, and I didn’t want to disturb her.

Later that morning, she walked out and I asked how she was feeling. She looked at me and said,

“Would’ve been nice if someone checked in on me last night.”

I told her I was out cold and needed to be up early.
She nodded. “I know… but still.”

That landed.

She wanted to feel that, at some point during those long hours of the night, I had her in mind. That I cared, that I was present in some small way, even if I wasn’t physically there.

Don’t underestimate the power of a simple check-in—especially when she’s sick, stressed, or overwhelmed.

A “How’s your day going” or “Is there anything on your mind” might seem small, but it goes a long way.

Even five minutes of focused attention can cut through the noise of a busy life and remind your partner they matter.

2. Practice Active Listening

Josh Hudson, head coach and co-founder of Marriage Reset, recently interviewed a client. His name was also Josh—and he had turned his marriage around from the brink of divorce.

They talked about his story—what shifted, what helped, and when things started to improve.

One moment stood out.

“It was the first Chicago Bulls game of the year,” Josh said. “And I’m a big Bulls fan. But I literally turned the TV off, squared up to her, and she looked at me like, ‘What? Who is this guy?’

Then I said, 

‘All of these arguments we’ve had… I didn’t validate your feelings. I dismissed them. I was too focused on being right instead of actually trying to understand you. I wasn’t listening with kindness, or empathy, or any real care. And that’s on me.’

I finished with, ‘It all starts with me, and it all ends with me.’”

That’s the power of presence.

When your partner talks, give them your full attention.

Put the phone down. Make eye contact. Tune in—not only to their words, but to the emotion underneath.

When you listen to understand, not just respond, you build trust and a deeper understanding. That’s what creates real emotional intimacy.

If you want to unlock physical intimacy, it starts with emotions feeling safe to surface—and your partner feeling that her words are truly heard.

3. Be the Calm in Her Storm

When emotions run high, lots of men instinctively try to fix, explain, or move on.

But what your partner often needs most is your presence, not your solutions.

Bruce, a Marine officer and pilot, learned this the hard way. It became a turning point in saving his marriage—after his wife had already walked away.

“I would always, always, always—any time a problem showed up—I’d immediately jump to fix, manage, control. What can I do to solve this? But I wasn’t stepping into her perspective. I wasn’t empathizing with where she was coming from.”

When Bruce made that shift, everything started to change.

“Every day’s better than the last. Every night we listen to a devotional, pray, talk about our day. I’m rebuilding trust with our adult kids too; learning to create a space where they feel safe to open up without thinking Dad’s just going to step in and fix everything. It’s good… and I know it’s going to get even better.”

Don’t react. Don’t solve. Stay grounded and feel it with her.

Let her storm pass through you—without absorbing it or pushing it away.

That stillness says more than words ever could: “You’re safe to be you.”

This might be one of the hardest things to do as a man—but it’s also one of the first steps to creating a safe, healthy relationship again.

4. Prioritize Touch (Even Outside the Bedroom)

Affectionate touch is a silent but powerful way to say, “I love you.”

It’s also one of the most overlooked signs of a healthy marriage.

Hold hands. Hug before you leave the house. Sit close on the couch. These small moments build emotional closeness.

Studies show that couples who show more affection are often happier and more satisfied in their relationships

Affectionate touch also improves body satisfaction and relationship quality; particularly among women.

Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist Josh Hudson touches on this topic in this video.

I’m always here for the puns.

5. Create Rituals for Connection

Routines create a sense of security and belonging. 

That could mean a Sunday morning coffee, a weekly walk, or saying ‘goodnight’ with care.

These rituals remind both partners they matter.

If you’ve seen the movie Up, you’ll remember the opening montage of Carl and Ellie’s life. 

It wasn’t flashy romantic gestures that made their love unforgettable; it was the little things. Picnics on the hill. Painting the mailbox together. Saving for a dream that never quite happened.

Those small, shared rituals became the heartbeat of their connection.

That’s the kind of bond real couples build—in the small moments they choose to repeat.

Something as small as a regular date night can be one of the best ways to restore emotional intimacy.

6. Fight Fair, Not to Win

Conflict is inevitable. What matters is how you fight. 

Use “I” statements instead of blame. Take breaks when needed, and return to the conversation with a mindset of resolution—not victory. 

The goal isn’t to win; it’s to understand.

If you want to sharpen this skill, check out Nonviolent Communication by Marshall Rosenberg.

It’s a must-read for learning how to express needs without triggering defensiveness—and actually be heard.

7. Express Appreciation Often

Say thank you. Acknowledge the little things your partner does. 

Gratitude is one of the simplest ways to reinforce positive behavior and show your partner they’re seen, valued, and appreciated.

Harvard Health says couples who often show gratitude feel more connected. They’re better equipped to handle tough moments without falling apart.

Think of it like emotional bubble wrap—keeps things from breaking when you hit a rough patch.

8. Keep Growing Together

“If you’re not growing together, you’re growing apart.” — Tony Robbins (often attributed)

Support each other’s goals and dreams. Whether it’s a new hobby, career ambition, or personal growth journey, cheer each other on. 

Relationships grow best when both individuals feel empowered to evolve.

Not only that, but having your own growth path fuels attraction.

It shows you’re self-driven. You’re capable, grounded, and not reliant on your partner for purpose or identity.

That’s all magnetic energy. It keeps the relationship dynamic, curious, and full of possibility.

Personal Growth Fuels Partnership Growth

Decades ago, I did a year and a half of therapy (highly recommend). During a few sessions, I brought in the hurt and heartbreak from a tough breakup.

One time, I remember the therapist talking about the kinds of relationships that last. The kind of partner he’d choose if he were young and single.

“I’d want to be with a growing person,” he said.

Someone who’s curious. Someone doing the work. Someone who doesn’t blame the world but keeps expanding in how they show up.

That line stuck with me.

I left every session feeling lighter, clearer, and more hopeful.

Therapy is powerful for individual healing, and it can absolutely strengthen the relationship you’re in.

It may not always be the most effective way for saving a broken marriage—our team leans on solutions-focused, action steps… but it builds the emotional foundation real change depends on.

Add the right tools for connection and leadership—and everything begins to change.

9. Make Time for Fun

Don’t let your relationship become all responsibility and no play. 

Laughter, spontaneity, and shared adventures are key to keeping the spark alive. 

Schedule fun—yes, literally.

Another Marriage Reset client, Vitaly, described the before and after in his marriage.

“She was cold and didn’t want to hug me. Very distant. Now—we’re very affectionate. We make out. She initiates cuddling. We go on dates once a week. We say ‘I love you.’”

Making time for fun has been key in his reconnection—not just emotionally, but physically.

When tension and routine take over, intimacy tends to flatline.

But when you start laughing together again, flirting again, being playful again—that’s when real momentum builds.

Joy is a gateway to connection. 

And sometimes, the most meaningful shift is remembering how to enjoy each other again.

Final Thought: Couples Tips For Deeper Connection

Great communication and intimacy come from presence. From listening without fixing. From showing up calm when it’s messy.

You don’t need to say the perfect thing. And you definitely don’t need to agree on everything.

If you’re looking for couples tips to build something strong and lasting, start with these:

Be grounded. Be curious. And above all, keep choosing each other.

And if there’s one more tip to take seriously—it’s this: don’t wait until it’s broken to fix it.

If things feel off, now is the time to act.

Hop on a free call with our marriage evaluating team.

You’ll get clarity on where things stand—and the exact steps to bring it all back, before it’s too far gone.